Oklahoma Dreamin'
I have made an important decision in my relationship: I'm taking my boyfriend home. Well, "home" to Norman, Oklahoma. Though my parents have vacated, I consider Norman Oklahoma my home. My friends are there, the house I grew up in (and which is being defiled by some sort of tree cutting, landscaping whores) is there, the schools I attended, the parks I started smoking away the latter parts of my life in are there and so on.
Of course it's also the home I made a goal of leaving as soon as I realized I could. Oklahoma is one of the blandest places in the country and Norman is the capital of suburbia. There are few things in Norman you couldn't easily find somewhere else. Wal-Mart, Applebees, Chili's, Borders, Malls, Megaplexes, big box stores, pre-fab subdivisions with man-made "lakes" and so on. And, of course, gays are not that popular there.
The beautiful thing about this, though, is my man is Belgian. He has been to New York and that's about it. He has never seen America, never really experienced it. So all of these things will be new to him. I will have the chance to experience Oklahoma not as the most banal place on earth, but as the magically repellent embodiment of American excess and sprawl!
Anyway, my best friend and her girlfriend will also be there. It'll be exciting for us to have a prolonged double date but also to help act as guides and defend back me up when I tell Jan that the super center wal-mart we go to is actually just one of two and that there is also a Super Target of the same size. Anyway, she has a good post soliciting ideas for how to best experience Oklahoma. Leave a comment with your ideas.
posted by marx marvelous @ 5:30 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
I hope you had a good time during your stay in lovely Oklahoma. I must say that between your and Amy's blog (and associated comments) that I am a little more than displeased with your attitude toward middle America.
Here are some of my favorites:
"I will have the chance to experience Oklahoma not as the most banal place on earth, but as the magically repellent embodiment of American excess and sprawl!"
"to dispel jan of the notion that life in oklahoma might resemble anything with which he is familiar, douglas and i have developed an itinerary that includes destinations found only in oklahoma (the cowboy hall of fame, murrah bombing memorial) and those found in any (restaurant-/store-) chain-clogged shitbox anywhere else in the contiguous 48. walmart, chili's, the mall, etc. our agenda is impressive, but it still seems incomplete"
It seems awful elitist for you two to look down upon us 'simple folk' with our sports team clothing and call us banal. Being urban and gay is not a free ticket to shit on the little people. We all go to work and spend time with our friends and family. I'm sorry we don't get our bagels from Einstein Brothers and we drink Folgers instead of Starbucks. We must seem so different!
I'm glad you came, I enjoyed your company, but this post as a set-up for your visit seems very demeaning and puts a cloud over your otherwise pleasant stay. My worry is that with this attitude being pressed on him Jan probably now has the same view of MY part of the world as you do.
You're totally right. I definitely went too far on the negatives versus positives of Oklahoma.
I feel like I have the freedom to shit talk Oklahoma because I grew up there and still consider it 'home'. But I suppose it's been seven years since I came to New York and my right to talk trash might have expired.
This may not ever be clear but I like Oklahoma and miss a lot of things about it. I've always said, which I did not say in that post, that I love all of my friends and a lot of the people in Oklahoma. Everyone is friendlier. It's a beautiful place and has a lot of history and culture to offer. I would never assume, as someone who lived in Oklahoma for 18 years and knows a lot of people there, that you all are simple. I assumed the whole idea of bringing Jan to Oklahoma made it implicit that there was something good about the place. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bought two plane tickets.
I can't speak for my boyfriend completely, but he said he had a great time. He talked about moving! He loved meeting all of my friends, some for the first time and some for a second time. He liked the chance to learn about Oklahoma, whether it was through the Cowboy Hall of Fame, Omniplex or the Murrah Memorial. We ate copious amounts of Braum's and Bison Witches. We drank the local beers and explored the town.
Greg, don't take my posts too literally. And I should try to be more sensitive to offending people and going overboard with the hyperbole. My biggest worry is that you think I'm as HUGE an asshole as my dumb post makes me sound. You really think I think you and everyone else there are "little people"??? I hope I didn't act like such an asshole when I was there. BESIDES, you guys drink Starbucks (or you wouldn't have four of them) AND Yankess shirts are just as popular here as Sooner shirts in Oklahoma.
I apologize for making Oklahoma and the people there sound terrible or worse than the many assholes in New York.
dc
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