The New Gay Friend Dynamic

I actually just watched Vera Drake, a movie about a woman who gives girls abortions in England during the 1950's when abortion is illegal. She aborted the babies by sticking some sort of syrynge pump in the woman's vagina and then filling up the uterus with what appears to be soap, hot water and olive oil. And the next day-- viola!-- miscarriage. Thank god that movie exists, because when the Supreme Court hears the next abortion challenge from South Dakota (which recently just banned abortion so that the new Supremes could overturn Roe v. Wade) I'm going to have to help all of my girlfriends abort their fetuses.

That's the next step in the Gay Man - Straight Woman friendships: abortion. See, this makes sense in a physical way because I don't care what their vagina looks like (besides maybe to make sure there really aren't teeth) and I will not be distracted by wanted to have sex with my friend pre- or post-abortion. But it also makes sense because this is exactly what liberals, the ACLU and homosexuals want: We want to abort babies from the comfort of our own homes. And rape children.

So anyway, this is a really great guide on how to abort a baby:

For the women of South Dakota: an abortion manual from BoingBoing

I know this is going to be hard for some homosexuals. But consider this part of the procedure:

The membrane should be easily broken with the forceps. Depending on how far along the pregnancy is, varying quantities of clear or pinkish fluid may come from the vagina.

Look! Pink fluid! Gay! Gay! Gay! Thanks George Bush for helping contribute to this new dynamic of my friendships!